Never was,

Look, just look—not yours. Never was. 

The laugh from a stranger across the street, that shimmer in their eye, not yours. Don't touch. Don't steal. It's for them, them and everyone else. Keep moving. Feet hit the ground. Flowers on the pavement, blooming recklessly. Faster, don't yearn, don't stop to smell those flowers. People smiling? For others. The laughter in bars, the clinking glasses—not meant for your ears. Love is drifting like a leaf down the stream, always out of grasp. Always leaving. Never for you. That water's not yours to disturb. 

Ignore the pull, the ugly greed of wanting. It's a trap, it's quicksand, it swallows you whole. Don't forget. It's immoral to assume, sinful to even believe you’re entitled to anything—a glance, a touch, anything. Keep your desires on a leash, tight. Choke them if you must. Grasping leads to nothing but empty hands. Remember, always remember: what glows, glows away from you. Don't linger on gazes, don't get tangled in talks. Connection is a currency you can't afford.

THEN- A sharp breath. There. Her.

The curve of her neck, the delicate slope—a marble cliff. Her hand brushes against yours, accidental, brief, too warm, not meant for you. Snap back. She smiles, you don’t. Smiles cost, don’t they? Cost something you can’t pay.

March on. Eyes ahead. Alone but right. It's just how it must be. Keep telling yourself, don't forget. Breathe quick, short, don’t hold it in—it isn’t yours to keep. You’re trespassing in a world that wasn’t made for you, or was it? No, don’t answer. Don’t ask. Even those questions you could think to ask, not yours. 

Never was.